On words.

I named this blog in a fit of infatuation with the world. And generally, that is how I go about trying to live my life. But right now, the truth is painful, and the world is not so beautiful. I'll try to find my old perspective again, but for now, I am viewing the outside from a small and dirty  room.

I am a person who believes in the power of words. I love everything about them -- the way they feel when I say them, the music they make when I hear them, and the power they possess over the mind and the soul. When I say something from my heart, each word is carefully weighed. I am careful not to use words that I don't mean, or to convey more feeling than I intend to show to another person. To me, a word used insincerely is an offense of the highest degree. To use a word is to carefully wield all the associations and implications it has come to embody. Carelessly tossing a word at someone is no less dangerous than throwing a knife through a dining room. You never know who you are going to hit. That's why I am guarded. It's not out of fear for myself, but for those around me.

Today I went to Spanish mass with Libby. I didn't understand the language, but the rhythms and the response sequences spoke for themselves. Even the homily was in Spanish, except for the following poem, which the priest graciously read in English. Perhaps it's a sign that I was meant to really think about it, as it was the only thing I could comprehend. I hope I keep thinking about it. These are words, used correctly. These are not knives, but embraces.



Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.


-- "A Return to Love," Marianne Williamson