London's Little Instruction Book

They say every mistake teaches you a lesson. So I guess the benefit of making lots of mistakes is that you learn lots of lessons. Enough to write a manual, of sorts:

1. Your two-hour break between classes is not sufficient time to schedule a cello lesson when it involves commuting from the center of the city to the edge.

2. If you decide to ignore the above, at least make sure it isn't pouring as you embark upon your odyssey.

3. If you STILL ignore the above (a tough guy, eh?) you're in for some fun. It takes longer to get to Finsbury Park on the tube than you think.

4. So you didn't look up which bus number to take from the tube station to your teacher's house. Nice job, Sherlock. Don't blame it on the broken internet, you should have tried harder. There's a nice man over there, ask him.

5. When the man at the information kiosk at first seems unable to understand English, this is not necessarily a bad sign. When he doesn't recognize the small map you printed off earlier: I repeat, do not give up hope. When he has the unexplainable epiphany that you should take bus W3, LISTEN TO HIM.

6. Do NOT get a second opinion from the man at the desk on the other side of the station, even if his English is perfect.

7. Repeat step 6, replacing "man at the other side of the station" with "trendy hipster waiting for Bus W7." And again, using "the French woman standing nearby."

8. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BOARD BUS W7.

9. When, against all reason, you board bus W7, make sure you know where to get off before you are standing in the middle of the aisle and the doors are closing. This will prevent you from blocking the way for everyone else, nearly falling over and killing someone with your aptly named Bam instrument case when the bus abruptly moves, and generally making a huge erratic rain-soaked flustered mess of yourself.

10. There will be a very nice concerned citizen who takes pity on your plight and tells you where to get off this bus, which is not really near your intended destination. You will have realized by now that you made a terrible mistake by assuming the first man at the station didn't know what he was talking about. There is probably some deep moral about the evils of making assumptions, especially based on someone's accent. You feel like kind of a jerk.

11. Back to your rescuer. He will kindly make conversation even though you are still awkwardly blocking the entire aisle and receiving angry glances from all around. It will turn out that he went to Guildhall School of Music and Drama. And that he is a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company. And that he just finished a TV show. You will feel like he is probably a big deal but straight up asking what he's been in seems tacky. He's very down-to-earth about it all.

12. When the bus breaks down, don't panic. There's another one right behind you. Prepare for mass exodus to the transfer.

13. When you lose your Actor-friend in the scuffle, still don't panic. You're allowed to be a little worried, though. Where do you get off again?

14. When the bus stops at a place that seems promising, get off. This will save the Actor from having to miraculously appear from the upper level (yep, the good ol' double decker London bus) and yell over, "This is it! You should get off now!" Because then you will feel supremely incompetent. But also unspeakably grateful.

15. It will be pouring harder. Call your teacher, whom you have never actually met, but should have about half an hour ago. Tell her where you are. She will say you're still pretty far, you should probably just go back, let's reschedule for Monday morning.

16. Kick yourself several times with purpose. You were overly anxious and should have waited till Monday in the first place. Now you've made a bad first impression, you are tired from lugging your cello to the middle of nowhere, your socks are wet, and you have a 3 hour lecture to look forward to back at school.

17. Take the bus back to Finsbury Park. At least you know which one to take... HA. On the bus, inhale your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You will start to feel a little better.

18. Back underground, back on the tube. You're afraid you'll see the man whose correct instructions you ignored, but you won't, which makes you miss him a bit. He seemed nice and happy.

19. Get off the tube at Piccadilly. Fight through the midday crowd. Re-enter school, feeling defeated.

20. These next steps are crucial, so listen up. Realize that, despite your unpleasant and pointless journey, you met so many people who were willing to help you. Recognize that people here are very kind, that they offer help without even being asked, they offer it cheerfully and sincerely.

21. Try to pay some of this kindness back into the world. Repeat. And repeat, and repeat.